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I thoughtkeeping busy would help me stay well.Although saying my treatment was curative might have been overstatingthings I definitely wasn't haunted by my alternative personalities anymore.No more delusions about awful Alex Turner or sweet, kindly Alex Moore.They were two extremes of the spectrum. Make believe grotesques at thepolar opposites of my emotional range.I'd like to think the real me was somewhere in the middle.Perhaps in the past I had been down the Alex Turner end. But I wasworking. I put together a plan she couldn’t refuse. Free room and board as I gave her an amount each week to buy groceries, use of a car and a small tax-free stipend each week, the only rule was no parties and no overnight houseguests. I even told her I would increase her stipend when I added livestock she would need to feed. She readily agreed. I mean it was basically a free ride and she could seek outside employment if she wanted to.I came home every other weekend and this weekend was my third such. Standing in that aisle, it occurred to me that just a few months ago, Iwould have been mortified to be seen with these items in my vicinity, letalone in my possession. Even a few weeks ago, I believed I would haveappeared to be some sort of interloper, possibly the subject oftransphobic remarks or attacks, just for setting foot there. Yet today Ifelt entirely comfortable in that space, with the exception of thecramps.DAY 75I have found my mind preoccupied for some hours regarding a statement. When they saw me they started to laugh and asked if I was just practicing for the rest of the week. Lexi handed me a bag and said it was a present from the girls, they bought it at the hotel gift shop, it was a very brief pair of swimming trunks, not a Speedo, but it wasn't very big. They said that and this, they handed me another bag with a T shirt in it, were to be my uniform at the pool. Then I was told to hurry and change, we are going to the pool.It was a bit embarrassing at first, but.
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