00 pm at home and get fresh and after that I go to computer room and starting surfing and reading ISS story but after this type of story reading I can’t control myself and I finding way to do something sex and also I have separate room so in night all family sleeping I doing surfing and watching movie after that task I doing masturbating myself but after some I don’t like to that and I can’t get fun I want something new so I finding way to make fun but I can’t do that and find stuff like that. In the meantime, I thought about stopping off at a bar. There were certainly plenty of them in Berkeley, and the idea of drowning myself in alcohol held a certain appeal. Drinking would numb my senses, numb my pain. But then again, I wasn't a really big drinker. Sure, I could handle my liquor at a party, but I didn't go out of my way to get loaded. No, my drug of choice had always been sex, and if I wanted to numb my senses, numb my pain, there were other sources for getting what I. .. okay."I gave her instructions on how to get to my place and told her that I wouldn't be there until late Friday afternoon. They agreed to arrive between 5 and 6 PM and Brenda insisted that they would like to take me to dinner that evening. She asked about a hotel nearby and I gave her a recommendation.The following two days I had all kinds of emotions about the impending visit of Brenda and Katy. What if they somehow blamed me for Katy's injuries? What if they were looking for me to give. Ulrika, Frau Kurtz and I stood on the steps and waved goodbye dutifully. Karl and his skis were in one cab, Frau Fischer was in the second, and the third one held her luggage. They moved off in convoy and we went back inside. I looked round the hall and realised that something was missing. There wasn't a hint of Christmas in the whole house. Not an ornament, not a pine needle: nothing. Frau Kurtz went up to her room without a word. The soap operas were calling her. Ulrika and I looked at each.
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