It was all I could do to keep dinner down, to be honest, but I nodded weakly.Then she produced a little package from the coffee table and said, "Tada! Small gift. I saw it and thought of you."Well, this was weird. What was I to make of this? I opened it and found one of those GPS based running watches – the ones that are designed for runners and which record heart rate and so on. It came complete with a small insert you put in your shoe to count footsteps.I looked back at her, and she was. Great , now we were both stuck with Suzanne pissed up ,she asked us to go to another bar with her , What the hell we said we are on holiday and followed her down the road to the bar , she led the way , i couldnt help but look at her arse as she was walking , i could see the bold outline of the pink thong she was wearing ,We arrived at the bar and Suzanne got us sum wierd cocktails each , and then we had a few beers aswell , it was about 2 oclock in the morning all 3 of us were really pissed,. But naked, all I see is the ugly bits, so I just dont go there.I know I shouldnt complain - I've seen some people who have it a lotrougher than me in the looks department - burn victims, people withhorrible diseases, people with terrible birth defects.Me, I just look like the guy I used to pretend I was.When you're trans, holidays can really suck, you know? Christmas becomesa reminder of the fact your family thinks you're going to hell, or Easterreminds you of all the pretty spring dresses. My nights were filled with vague and fleeting dreams of red hair and soft lips and pale skin.Maddie, though, did continue to try to contact me. Texts mostly, and mostly harmless. Blurbs about classes, complaints about professors, goofy selfies in front of a horribly spotty mirror. I kept my replies neutral, noncommittal, trying to stay on the right side of my promises to Charlotte. One text included a dressing room picture of her in a white pleated skirt. “Whaddya think- too short?” it queried,.
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