" You don't need to apologize to me Jessica. The fact is, you're right about me. I don't even know who I am anymore. I can't be trusted. I don't want to hurt you or your sister." You won't hurt us. You and Sandy need each other right now. I realize that now. You're a good person," Jessica said and sat next to me on the bench, her thigh pressing to mine."I'm not sure about that but thanks anyway," I said and took her hand in mine. "I want to thank you for this morning. I don't know where I would. I felt as though Iwere going to melt. And then he'd continue with the conversation and withina minute or two I'd compose myself.Looking back, I guess I was falling under his control even then.We'd discussed virtually everything in the past, there were no taboos. Allof the (to my mind) shocking, embarrassing fantasies that I harboured,fantasies I'd tried to repress but that just never went away...we talkedabout them all, with no judgement, no lecherous comments, just acceptanceand understanding.. The questions went on and without thinking I was answering as Nichola,even though my head knew I shouldn't know these answers, I did it wassecond nature to me, also I knew that really I was a man, but now I was aconfident sexy woman, the emotions going on in my head wereindescribable, I realised that I knew Nichola's life, her life was nowmine!I handed back to questionnaire and typed 'this is amazing I know all thisbut I shouldn't,' then I noticed my writing on the questionnaire somehowinstead. That's what's making you all so mad. We had sex and enjoyed it. That is the crux of the whole thing, isn't it?" Jason stood up. "Doctor, I have a confession to make. I had sex with a beautiful, lovely, intelligent, sexy woman and I enjoyed it. How are you going to make me feel guilty about that? Now, you can continue to collect your $150 an hour, but let's get one thing straight. I don't feel bad about what Roberta and I did. I wish we could still be doing it. And if you had ever experienced.
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