Paul: Here you are sir; enjoy.Eddie: Just as I take my first bite while Eddie was trying to take his hand away his fucking college ring gets stuck in the souffle’s ramekin. Thus, topples the whole dam desert off the table onto my shirt, down to my belt and yes all over my fucking crotch.Paul: I’m sorry sir; let me clean this up.Eddie: Fuck man this is a brand-new polo shirt and Levi jeans.Paul: Again sir, I’m really sorry.I want to Talk to your Manager:Eddie: I want to talk to your. -Phyllis DillerHis finest hour lasted a minute and a half.-Phyllis DillerOld age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.-Phyllis DillerMy photographs don't do me justice -they just look like me.-Phyllis DillerI admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.-Phyllis DillerTranquillizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.-Phyllis DillerI asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was. I was sitting there with a hard cock one afternoon just looking at her while she flipped pages and took notes. Without looking at me she said, "If you don't get to work, Danny, you'll never get five pages done." Then she raised her eyes to mine and smiled at me. One of the things I always had liked about her was her smile. She had these cute little dimples that showed up on either side of her mouth when she smiled.Well, of course I turned beet red and quickly averted my eyes. She surprised me. . for my sister. There was just one problem, or at least an immediate problem, I suddenly had to use the facilities very badly. Aunt Martha makes perfect iced tea, and I had finished off about a quart of it at dinner. "Uh, listen, I need to pee, so if you could step outside, I'll be through in a minute." Uh, no I can't ... not for a few minutes anyway."I had to work that out. "Oh, you want good ol' Cody to think we're getting it on in here."She nodded. "Am I being a petty bitch?"I held up my.
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