I whisper, in your ear again, "try to relax and enjoy as much as you can, I will keep you safe from harm, but I am going to work at pushing you as much as I possibly can." I feel you nod your head, no words this time. I speak again, "Say your safe word." I hear you whisper it "Red Light", I make you say it a second time. You say "Red Light" a second time, with more conviction. I whisper into your ear once again, "Good Girl". The words ringing in your ears deliciously.I move back and make direct. The war must be worse than I thought.We skirted the outskirts of the nearest town to the homestead, and came up on it from the heavily wooded area to the south. We sat on a little hill about a quarter mile away and watched the house. I saw Mom come out and do something. My little brother left the house with his rifle. My sister began hanging out clothes. I finally saw my father as he brought the two mules from the barn. We didn’t see anyone else so we walked our horses to the house. My dad saw. ” “What do you mean?” “I told my parents I couldn’t babysit, so they left her at home on her own and she got into some trouble. Took an overdose.” He stood and started to walk away from me. My heart leapt into my throat. “You can’t blame yourself for that.” “Oh yes I can,” he said. I darted in front of him. “Well you shouldn’t.” The moonlight fell on his face in such a way that his eyes were in shadow, and all I could see were two tiny white reflections. “Let me go,” he said, stepping round. Three years ago, Subject J came into the spectrum for about three months. She wanted to expand her sexual limits; see how far she could reach before saying her boundaries were met. She came at a good time for me, I guess. I was over forty-five, okay, past forty-six, and felt somewhat vulnerable about where I was in life. I had never had a real relationship with anyone, nor thought I ever would, and wondering how long, sexually, I would be active. She seemed like a good candidate for me to.
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