She returned to the kiosk and placed the purchases in my purse and paid the clerk.As we walked the length of the mall to the entrance, Britney taught me how to walk sexy, mainly by trying to put my feet in the same footprint while rolling my hips. She cautioned, "Don't look at your feet." Damn it," I cursed after catching the heel of one boot with the toe of the other and stumbling.Her grin reassured me, "You're doing better than you think. You just need to walk with an attitude." What kind of. Said it was my fault. I agreed. But only to him. I can’t blame myself. There was more to it than that. So much more. But that’s the way it goes. He’s over and done with me and I sit here rotting. Waiting for the scar tissue around the hole in my mind (where all of the things I believed about him have been distorted, warped, changed and ripped out) to harden. Waiting for the scars across my torn fingerprints to close and fade into one of the many lines that say so much without speaking. He. I was smitten. It had been four grueling months of non-stop Robert/Jesse hanging out at every free moment we had. I say grueling, because, although he had made it to first and second bases during some unusually torrid make-out sessions, we had not gone “all the way.” That had been my choice, not his. And I felt like if I had to hear one more story of “blue balls,” cold showers, and three or four masturbation sessions a day, I’d explode. We had passed the point of telling each other we loved. “Dave, you just don’t understand women. We also need our beauty potions, and this trip we needed space for some special things. Cindy and I planned to keep you guys interested.”“I think we’re plenty interested,” said Ken.“Oh, yeah? Dave, light that big lantern of yours, and we girls will show you some of the things in those extra bags as you guys called them.” Karen grabbed Cindy’s hand and dragged her toward the tent“Okay.” I got up, lit the big Coleman, and hung it a few yards from the fire.
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