You had been in the detective business for over 20 years when one day you found yourself at a loss on an important case. Your brain felt tired and couldn't make the connections it used to. As you sat at a bar in downtown London, a woman had come up to you. "Good evening sir. Are you mr. Jameson, the famous detective?" That you were. She told you she had multiple clues on your current case and that she would love to share them with you over a whiskey. You were shook by how much she knew about. "So Adamhow often would you say you masturbate?"I was taken a little back at the question but she kept it clinical."Uhh I don't know once a day maybe, sometimes I miss a day here orthere."She jots down notes and moves on. "Do you fantasize or watch pornwhile you masturbate?" A little, I do it in the shower and day dream a bit I guess," Ianswer trying to hide my embarrassment."What do you daydream about?" she asks without even looking up fromher note pad."Uhh pretty girls having sex with me," I. " That was sort of true, but not really.Julia gushed, "I've checked the weather forecast and it looks fine. I'm REALLY hoping we can walk in the garden. I'm so looking forward to getting some time alone with you. I'm glad you chose that restaurant." Julia was as excited as I was, which amazed and delighted me."Umm, Mom chose that one. I don't know many restaurants." I was feeling guilty over my previous dishonesty.At lunch I was approached by an attractive, but rough-looking freshman girl, who. Betsy SalkindThe only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats. Jean KerrI’ve been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. Zsa Zsa GaborYou know you’re a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn’t. Jeff FoxworthyWhen a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. Prince PhilipA computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. Emo Philips.Wood burns.
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