It didn’t finish filling till about mid day and Tom came over just then. He had a wooden sign with him and a couple of screws. He laughed and turned the sign around for me to see. “Clothing optional” thought you’d like this, he said and proceeded to screw it on the outside of the hut facing the house. The temperature was cool but not cold so we sat around on the patio and had some coffee until the tub was heated and waited for the heat to spread inside the pergola making it warm and steamy.. He couldn't do it. His feelings for her seemed to be replaced withnumbness. For him this was much worse than feeling angst. The sensation ofemptiness, hollowness and bareness made him think of himself as a shell.Every so often he would think of Julie. His heart would ache sadly yetslightly as if it were some long lost forgotten feeling. His eyes wouldburn and his forehead would gleam with sweat but he shook it away eachtime. And then after a few weeks he had completely forgotten the. Maybe I should go back to the shops for some Tums. Or some Valerian. I was within smelling distance of a coffee bar, but feeling alert and focussed didn’t seem like a good state to be in right now. Drowsy and distracted would be better. Although sweating less would be nice.“Monsieur? Allez-vous bien? Are you okay?”Oh God, now strangers were noticing. Well, I was more or less doubled over in my seat, my elbows leaning on my thighs. A young woman with brown curls and a fashionable blue scarf sat. I so want to answer… but I’m so afraid this connection we seem to have is all in my head. But he’s so completely knowledgeable about his topic, he’s made it so absorbing and compelling, it would be impossible to not pay attention to him. He holds me prisoner with the timbre of his voice, those large, capable, expressive hands, that enticing hint of arrogance and those sharp, sharp eyes that seem to miss nothing. He can’t possibly not notice the effect he’s having on me. But perhaps he doesn’t,.
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