I was ... high, okay? I shouldn’t have shot you, but I was ... high. It was cocaine. I did some lines with my boyfriend, Kirby. He was celebrating his latest promotion at Exxon. He’s moving in, just so you know. That’s why you had to go right then. Look, I’m getting a job with him and starting over. I just want to make sure that we’re ... good. Sorry I shot you, but ... well, you were trespassing now that it was my house instead of ours,” Elaine continued to show fuzzy logic.“So, you were high. I wasn't ready to do that. Instead I went for a long bike ride to clear my mind. It was exhilarating riding with an ocean breeze in my face, the late summer sun slowly beginning to set across the dunes. It cleared my mind, forgetting family, forgetting Jenny, forgetting breasts.As I returned and neared our rental home I could see that Linda and dad were back and that dad was on the patio grilling. I circled around a few blocks away, not quite ready to face the reality of what I had done,. As youngsters we often bought porn magazines, but when Steve and I were alone he would purchase Gay related magazines and hide them in his bedroom, but one fateful day his Mother spotted a couple of magazines while cleaning his bedroom and questioned him about them; it was then he “Came out” to his Parents, his Mother was okay with it, but his Father flipped and never talked to him again for years. As I say being Gay was not a popular thing, but fortunately for Steve a year or so later Freddie. “I can’t have...” Confusion flicked across his face. “I mean, what about your mother?”“Oh, she’s a slut,” I said, the needles prickling through my mind. “So Sadie’s going to replace mom. Because Mom’s a complete whore. She cheated on you all the time, Dad, but you’re not mad about that. Or hurt.”My thoughts really burned as Dad shook his head, his emotions crashing across his features. He went through so many stages of shock and betrayal in a moment. Then he stared down at Sadie, his face still.
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