I was new at cheating.As we recovered, Phil looked over to me with a smile and thanked me. My uneasiness at the situation must have been obvious because Phil set out to reassure me that everything would be ok. He asked me if I was feeling guilty for cheating on my husband and I just nodded.Phil smiled and told me that he understood what I was going through. But, he said, I needed to understand that it was just sex between friends and that there was nothing to feel guilty about. Phil said that. This is not Mr Black behavior. Nor is it thebehavior of the Dr Black I thought I knew."Yes." Fright compels me to agree with him."Yes what?" he insists venomously."Yes I'm a stupid woman who doesn't know anything," I paraphrase. But Ido draw a line. I'm not going to come out and call myself a whore justto appease him. Even if it's true."And beyond that door lies nothing but your irrelevant inconsequentiallife."This may not be an Alex Turner memory, but I'm certain no psychiatristshould ever. The public is allowed to use the health club if it is not too busy with members. They are not allowed to use the other facilities without being accompanied by a member. You should have your card with you any time you come here. This brochure explains the various services available at the health club. Do either of you have any questions?"By the time we told Julio we didn't have any questions, there was a man with a white coat at the door."Rodney will escort you to your table. If you ever have. The whole thing hurts my feelings, and I’m uncomfortable no matter what. The cats eye me curiously, as if they’re asking me what my problem is. I finally decide to take a break, so I head for the front plot of land. Settling myself into the soft grass, I light a cigarette and beg my nerves to stabilize. It is a beautiful warm sunny day, but there’s a chill in my soul. I can’t enjoy it. I can’t find pleasure in the sun beating down on my head, because all I can think is that Greatma would have.
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